From Darkness to Enlightenment: The Powerful Story of Trans Scott Newgent's Inner Evolution - Memoir Update & Bring Back Debate

Memoir Update

Every day, I find myself in a constant battle within my own mind. How can we put an end to this madness? Just three weeks ago, I was filled with excitement as I prepared to start living a normal life again. But then, I received recognized from my activism and ‘What is a woman’ - enough for people to say they didn’t feel safe with me as their manager not because they think I am a transphobe or bigot, but simply of who I am. What ever that means?

Now, as I work on finishing my memoir and preparing to self-publish it in August, I am faced with the emotional toll it takes on me, as well as the financial stress. It is a difficult story to share, but it feels like a road that I cannot escape from. If you want to get a glimpse of what the memoir will entail, visit the link below. And if you feel compelled, please consider making a donation. While publishers have shown interest in my story, I refuse to compromise on the truth - so here it is in all its rawness.

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From the darkness comes 'the Why

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by Transman Scott Newgent

3-21-2024

My relationship with God has always been a turbulent one. We constantly engage in heated debates - about activism, my decisions, and the path I was following. And while God always seemed to come out on top, I never backed down without a fierce verbal sparring match. The truth is, I have struggled deeply with self-acceptance and my journey of medical transition. Despite being vocal about it, I know that simply presenting facts is not enough to change others' minds. I have witnessed other activists try and fail, unable to persuade those who oppose medically transitioning children. It's infuriating because they may have all the right information, but lack the ability to effectively convey their points. Leaving room for opponents to effortlessly tear them down instantly hog tie them with ‘Bigot’ and the message is lost.

But perhaps there is a way to break through the stubborn walls of ego and resistance. A way to strike at the core of someone's beliefs with such force and intensity that they can't help but listen. To truly reach someone, you must strip them of their defenses and bring them to a place of raw vulnerability. And how do you do that? Through emotions so powerful, so overwhelming, that they are forced to hear every word with unguarded openness. Only then can the truth strike like a lightning bolt, shattering everything in its path - It’s the only way to penetrate through the armor of resistance.

How can one truly achieve vulnerability and authenticity? By being Vulnerable and Authentic.

It requires a brave and vulnerable act, one that involves exposing the deepest depths of our being. This means baring our souls and unearthing all the emotions we typically keep guarded with our very lives. It's a daunting task to confront our own foolish decisions, weaknesses, and the wrong turns that have led us astray. To sit in front of a camera and share your rawest, most embarrassing life experiences is far from easy - but it is necessary. It's the only way to truly captivate an audience and make them listen. You must offer a piece of yourself, an intimate fragment without holding back anything. People can sense when sincerity is faked; true authenticity cannot be replicated.

The impact of my interview in Matt Walsh's 'What is a Woman' documentary was palpable, leaving viewers shaken by its raw and sincere nature. I can sense their discomfort as I come across snippets here and there. It's not easy for me to watch either - I feel embarrassed and vulnerable, having shared my truth in such an exposing manner. But it is this very rawness and intimacy that made the interview so powerful, captivating audiences with its authenticity.

As I listen to the speeches of activists and politicians that I admire, I can't help but notice a distinct lack of vulnerability and rawness. In this age of social media, it seems like leaders are more concerned with projecting an image of strength and confidence rather than sharing their true humanity. And yet, it is this very quality that has the power to change hearts and minds. But how can we expect true change when our society values profit over genuine connection? How can we convince others to see beyond their own beliefs, when we are constantly bombarded with divisive messages and algorithms designed to keep us in our own echo chambers? The challenge for any leader today is not just to inspire, but to break through the noise and truly connect with people on a human level while educating them ever so gently to allow them to maintain their ego!

Tough Stuff People!

I can still vividly recall the moment when the weight of my responsibilities hit me like a freight train. As I frantically tried to wrap my head around what it would take to succeed, I glanced over at my children and a fierce determination ignited within me. "Yes," I declared to myself, "I can do this." But even as those words echoed in my mind, doubt and uncertainty clawed at me relentlessly. "Are you truly prepared to put everything on the line, Scott?" The internal battle raged on, but with every fiber of my being, I knew I had no choice but to dive in and risk it all.

The polarizing labels of Right/Left, Woke/Unwoke, Conservative/Liberal, and all the other absurd categories have catapulted us into a communist media regime. The free flow of information has been stifled and controlled by those in power. And ironically, even mainstream media outlets are now following this lead. But we cannot ignore our own responsibility in this mess - as a society, we have allowed politicians and social media influencers to adopt a shoot-first-ask-questions-later mentality, spewing out endless noise and rhetoric with no real aim or direction. They shout loudly and frequently, hoping that enough people will fall in line and follow their lead. But is this really the kind of society we want to be? Is this the type of leaders we want to lead?

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As I observed with intense scrutiny, it became increasingly clear to me that society was completely oblivious to the impact of social media and the esplanade it has taken us on. We, as a collective, have blindly led ourselves down this path. This societal issue is one we have imposed upon ourselves, and yet remain entirely unaware of. I challenge you to examine the last ten posts from your favorite social media influencer, and my point will become eerily evident. No special talent or skill is required; simply choose a polarizing topic, familiarize yourself with internet trends, and follow the established formula - and people will flock to you. But in doing so, we are perpetuating harm onto ourselves and our future generations. We are willingly sacrificing the well-being of gender confused children for the sake of entertainment, and society continues to applaud. Are you OK with that?

Essentially Debate Has Been Eliminated & Chaos Has Ensued

As we scroll through our social media feeds, mindlessly liking and following the latest influencers, we unknowingly feed into the communist media regime that controls our society. And yet, the majority of social media starts are chasing money and fame, blindly following those who promise us a taste of their luxurious lives and utopia society’s of bliss. But as they succumb to the pressure of maintaining a flawless image and constantly seeking validation from their followers, their authenticity fades away, leaving behind only a facade of perfection. In this pursuit of god-like status, we inadvertently perpetuate the toxic cycle of social media fame.

The formula is simple, yet effective. Take polarizing stances and never waver from them. Use verbal abuse as a weapon against anyone who dares to disagree with you. Never engage in a civil debate or seek to understand your opponent's perspective; this would only diminish your perceived power and authority. This strategy was all about maintaining a god-like status and crushing any opposition that dared to challenge it.

The stench of fear and corruption lingers in the air as established politicians and activists cower behind their polished personas. Their refusal to engage in debates is a testament to their insecurity and lack of true talent. Gone are the days of phenomenal leaders, replaced by shallow celebrities with teams of public relations managers, coaches, and editors creating a carefully crafted image while offering no real solutions for the issues plaguing our brothers and sisters around the world. The one place where compromise and truth should reign- a true debate- is now viewed as a dangerous threat by those who thrive on manipulation and deception. But we must not be deterred. We must have the courage to break through this wall of deceit, fueled by determination and a relentless pursuit of the truth. Only then can we shatter the shackles of political gamesmanship and expose the real issues at hand. We need true leaders and true leaders do not shy away from debate.

One aspect of Matt Walsh that I greatly admire and will continue to do so is his ability to capture the art of debate. Through his film, he masterfully showcased the intensity and intricacy involved in this form of discourse. However, there is a need to delve deeper into the world of debate, where every word is not carefully chosen and every idea shared is scrutinized, challenged by another who does not agree with you. This, my friends is where we find a balance society, in the gray area. It is a place where two leaders bravely engage in discussion, risking their reputations for their beliefs, all in pursuit of reaching a final idea or conclusion and a compromise along with balances ensues.

The world is falling apart, but people are too consumed with their own virtual egos to care. Real solutions require face-to-face communication and uncomfortable debates, qualities that go against the social media model of instant fame and fortune. I couldn't help but ask, 'Is there even a chance for true connection and understanding in this digital age?' Don't conform to any societal subtribe; remain steadfast in speaking the raw truth no matter who tries to bring you down. Show genuine emotion, shock them out of their complacency and force them to listen before it's too late.

I had a game plan. The irony of it all is that I've hated every minute of it,  never in my life wanting what social media darlings desperately claw for! All I wanted? To fulfill  this obligation, I understand what is happening to children, going through the process, almost dying from it, and having all the pieces needed to convey a message that will be heard by people in ALL social subtribes, not just the tribe of one!

You see what most don’t know about me is that on the brink of death after 17 months of a reoccurring infection, with a pic line placed in my arm long-term to administer IV antibiotics daily so I could get insurance to find a surgeon who was willing to take on the risk, forcing me outside of my state I realized something life changing. I realized I was dying and it was at that place, the moment that I knew I was dead, not just worried, but waking up in my blood and urine as I passed out in my bathroom, I made a deal with God. No, I am not a Christian but I do know their is a god, I have always felt this. On that day of the death coming soon realization I made a promise to god and that promise circles around my children.

The promise: If I could live and be here long enough to raise my children, I would fight to save yours. Can’t you feel that with me fellow mothers? No one does what I am doing, beaten daily by every subtribe, struggling to survive, losing my career due to the heat of this debate. No one would do this except one; a mother. I’m not selfless, I have me reasons, my reasons are an uncommon reality with social media start and activists.

For me it’s not about fame or money, I’m doing what I do? For my kids and every time I try to quit it gets thrown back in my face just like it has recently as I was outed my a customer and the young adults I was managing didn’t feel safe around me. ME? ‘The ‘HERO’ of ‘What is a Woman’ terrified the 19,20,21 years old’s I was managing. Priceless right! MMMUUUUWWWWWAAAA ‘Biology is real’ OMG run for your life!

That job loss was such a blow, truly. The day this blew up I understood what it means to become mute over trauma, you know the ones that never talk for years, up until that day? I thought it was just attention seeking, but that day I understood. Not even disconnecting the phone it laid in my hands while I starred at the wall for what seemed like ten minutes was almost four hours, not moving a muscle or blinking, just a dead stare at a dot on the wall.

Having the knowledge to accomplish a task is one thing, but committing to the plan is like carrying the weight of a 600-pound person, unable to move and constantly surrounded by tempting fast food. It's an immense challenge. At times, it has felt as though I was a punching bag in the ring with Mike Tyson during his prime - bruised and bloody from taking hit after hit. But I refuse to give up, determined to keep pushing forward towards my goals despite the difficulties that come my way. For my children, I help save yours.

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We Need Balance When It Comes To Gender Dysphoric Kids. I Would Know | Opinion

So hence the circle begins and continues again…’Done with activism,’ BOOM no you are not! Now I have no choice, I have to finish my book, l have to figure out how to give speeches to make some kind of life for my own kids. I’ve been sitting back since the beginning over four years ago when I got the first piece criticizing the medication of gender confused children in a op-ed in Newsweek. I remember being on the phone with what I believe is one

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of the best humans I have ever met I stated ignorantly confident, “Mary, it’s done, we did it!” No way they will keep medically transition child’s.

Boy, oh boy, was I wrong.

As I tried to explain to another friend the futile nature of relying on WPATH FILES to end the harmful practices of gender reassignment for confused children, my frustration mounted. They may be fact-based, but the wrong people are delivering this information. It will take more than just a file to STOP the madness of transitioning kids. Nothing personal to all you evangelicals out there, and I know many of you are sincere and awesome people, but I just can't seem to get through to them. The likes of Riley Gaines, Oli London (Born Again AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN), and Matt Walsh (whom I greatly admire) may have the right message, but they're not the right messengers. This cycle will continue for years until the mainstream media can no longer ignore the carnage that is happening. OR, if we can educate those who need it most: liberals, members of the LGBTQ+ community, and moderates. But they won't even touch this topic, let alone seek education about it.

Why?

Because as soon as they hear an evangelical talking about God and trying to save people from homosexuality, their eyes roll so far back in their heads they see God himself. The narrative has failed miserably with gay marriage, so much so that within your own subcultures, mentioning evangelicalism or religion in general elicits an eye roll at best and outright rejection at worst. Can you imagine Billy Graham as a keynote speaker at New York's biggest Pride Parade, preaching about how God can heal all those in attendance of homosexuality? Yeah...I didn't think so. So why not try something different? Because only something truly different is going to work. And here's what else I've learned: The leaders within this realm don't want to elevate me because then they would lose their coveted spot in the limelight. And truth be told, I have been trying to run away from that spotlight. But I remain steadfast for my children, because no mother would endure what I have and continue to endure for the sake of her kids. I'll never give up, not even for your kids. And let me be clear, I love all kids, every single one of them, but I will keep fighting for mine until they are truly safe and free from harm, to fulfill my promise is saving yours.

I am a helpless puppet, caught in an endless game of Whack-A-Mole with every societal subtribe taking turns to strike me down. Just when I think I've found some respite by collaborating with a feminist, the evangelicals swoop in with their vicious attacks. And as soon as I join forces with a conservative, the liberals and feminists pounce on me without mercy. The cycle repeats itself relentlessly, each attack more savage than the last. In summary? I am a mere pawn in this never-ending battle between warring ideologies.

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WHACK - A - SCOTT

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Despite lacking financial support and enduring constant attacks, I have fought for activism without a shield for nearly five years. I have stood strong against opposition, remaining committed to my cause without compromising my beliefs. Never once have I aligned myself with any political organization; every step I have taken in this journey has been a conscious and deliberate one. My perseverance through the challenges can be likened to a lone warrior, fighting tirelessly for justice and change.

Being banned from every social media platform and never achieving the coveted "monetization" that all social media stars strive for was a recipe for disaster. I never belonged to any specific group or subculture, which meant I had enemies from all sides. It was like playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole, with every accusation against me popping up in unexpected places. It was suffocating, knowing that anyone could report me at any time for something I didn't even know I did wrong. The thought alone made my stomach twist into knots. All followers ready to click to $50 a month in monetization GONE...Start over. Hell, I would have hundreds of thousands of followers if I played the activism role model, but I'm not playing a role, I'm trying to save these kids and in the beginning if you followed me I was harsh and in peoples face....For a reason, people needed to be awoke and it's time to go to the next strategic phase! Banned....Banned...Banned, heck I got banned on TITOK yesterday after 34 seconds.

The past five years have been a never-ending nightmare, one that no one would believe if it were made into a movie. I wouldn't even recognize myself anymore. My mind and body have transformed into something unrecognizable, plagued by recurring infections that turn me into an unpredictable and hostile person. I lash out at anyone who comes near, telling them to go pound sand. People tell me I'm no different from anyone else, but they couldn't be more wrong. My struggle has consumed me, crushing me like a ton of bricks on my head. And just last week, when life kicked me in the gut yet again, I lost all control. In the solitude of my home, I screamed and cursed at God for putting me through this living hell. What can I say, me and God fight girl howdy!

The anger boils inside of me, fueled by five long years of pure hell in every direction. "Screw you!" I yell, my voice hoarse and breaking with raw emotion. But just when I think I have something to hold on to, a glimmer of hope, it's ripped away from me like a cruel joke. I reach out desperately for the carrot dangling in front of me, but as soon as I sink my teeth into it, I feel a sharp pain shoot through my jaw. Another tooth lost due to the bone deterioration caused by taking the wrong hormones. "Real funny, God!" I curse, tears stinging my eyes. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, another crisis hits me head on. Another kid contemplating suicide, and now it's up to me to save them. Find a therapist, send the police, worry about their safety - all while trying to keep myself from falling apart. But what kind of person would run away from that responsibility? Not me, if it circles my own children, not me! No matter how much I wish I could escape this never-ending cycle of pain and suffering, I know deep down that I will always fight to help others until my last

The moral of the story rings loud and clear: Break free from your narrow subtribe, the one suffocating us all. Our children are dying while we argue over who has the most followers on social media. The rainbow-colored facade of acceptance is just a distraction from the real issues at hand. I know you will hate me for saying it, but our priorities are twisted. We must stop this senseless slaughter of innocent children across the globe while self-proclaimed social media stars chase fame and validation like high school popularity contests. Wake up and join me in taking action before it's too late.

Scott/Kellie Newgent

Parental Coaching-Gender Confused Child

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